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09.09.2022
The death of a public figure like the Queen can raise feelings of sadness and grief for many of us, it’s normal and to be expected. It can be confusing to feel upset about the death of someone you didn’t know but it’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up and to acknowledge the sadness. It’s nothing to be ashamed about and if it’s a public figure like the Queen then you are definitely not on your own.
For many, it’s the coming together that helps us feel validated and comforted by being part of a group. Grief comes and goes in many ways and it may be easier to grieve for someone you didn’t know rather than for someone you were close to. Being part of a large group that is also mourning the same person allows you to let go and be part of a shared social experience.
An interesting and often unnerving phenomenon is when you find yourself suddenly grieving for someone you have lost years ago or recently, the memories all come back. It's as if grieving for one person whether you knew them or not, recalls your past bereavements and losses. This is normal too and noticing it and going with those feelings can be healing.
Grieving is not a linear process and it takes time, many refer to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grief model. If you've heard of it, be aware this is not meant to be 5 linear stages of grief. Grief does not have a timeline nor does it take you through a linear step by step process. It can be mixed up and messy, we can experience anger after acceptance and the other way around at different times.
Allow space for sadness and reflection, at times it can be painful and frightening, especially when the emotions can feel overpowering and overwhelming. This is OK and will subside in time, for now though go gently on yourself and others.
