MENU 
20.07.2022
I’m 54 years old and the eldest of three I have a younger brother and sister and I’d say I have been brought up with strong values. Back in 2018, I started to have weird feelings, a temporary type of passing out. It was very mild at first and would just come and go within seconds, no reason and at any time. This became worse and more frequent it never crossed my mind what it could be.
The turning point was 2019, I revealed to my partner these weird feelings and she was shocked, then one day driving to Tesco the strange feelings came with a massive impact that I had to fight to stop myself from having an accident. I pulled into the car park and she said: "I was speaking to you but you were just blank, is this what you have been talking about?"
Sure, it was, and I burst into tears and then went into a meltdown. My breathing was fast and my head going crazy with all odd thoughts of money, work, life, everything it was just weird. I was checked by a doctor with all the usual routine tests heart rate, bloods etc. All came back normal. It was mentioned that I could have had a panic attack. I was given a tablet that could help and I can’t remember what it was. It didn’t work, it even caused issues at work so I was really struggling.
I was working in a very high pressured environment for a very well-known motorsport company. From the minute you were inside to going home it was full on and very stressful. I’d come home and just cry, eventually I couldn’t face work and had to take time off as the weird feelings came and went all the time.
I felt useless and I lost my job because of not being there. There was no support, no emotions shown when I told them my situation, they were just not interested and I was gone. That was the final straw something had to change. Back to the doctor but this time it was taken a step further, meetings with a Psychiatrist and NHS help. Eventually, over a period of 2 months, I was diagnosed with anxiety.
Looking back and how things were going it was all down to stress, overworking for months on end and the pressures from my job all caused this situation. Depression cut into
my road to recovery and I learned about the things that could trigger anxieties and attacks. Social media also caused massive issues for me and I’d get frustrated with the simple things. I then shut down all my social media, it’s definitely a no-go zone.
I worked with my psychiatrist on strategies to combat anxious feelings, breathing exercises, and positive thoughts like you deserve to be here on the planet. Diet was another area and certain types of foods like caffeine had to be removed. I’m now on Citalopram a well-known drug that works well for me.
Having a goal each day and then each week is helpful, I also have an app on my phone called Beat Panic which helps with breathing strategies and it really does help. I watch my diet and eat well which I always did but I’m more conscious of it now.
The biggest thing that really helps is to talk, literally talk about it to the doctor, the psychiatrist, to your closest family or friend, and especially your partner if you have one. Let them know your feelings it helps to get it out there - TALK.
My partner has been there all the way for me and is my support. I remember her saying ‘I’m here and I always will be we’ll get through this” this is so important to me. We all still have to work and pay the bills so I made the decision with my partner that I was never going to let work do that to me ever again. I chose my new job very carefully with less hours, and good management that recognises it’s not all about constant work.
It's really important to have downtime for yourself and your family, you need to unwind, have holidays go away to the seaside whatever. Also find a hobby or a sport anything that is different from work. I ride a motorcycle and I go fishing, I do the things I always used to do. No one can work 7 days a week constantly, we think we can but we can’t you will burn out just as I did.
Take a step back for a second and look at your lifestyle, your work-life balance and family time. Are you working way too much?
If you feel something is not quite right, take time out. Most of all please TALK it’s good to someone remember - ‘It’s ok to not be ok'.
Paul Ashley
