Permission to Be
It is something that crops up a lot in our coaching work, the coaching space being used to:
- help people work towards being authentic and true to themselves
- to trust their gut feel and to embrace who they are
- to resist the pressure to be something other than that in order to conform or get on in life
What is interesting is that this crops up in many settings, from someone who is long term unemployed and struggling with a mental health diagnosis to a senior manager in a large organisation with a successful career. The conversation is often around a perceived pressure that in order to get on in work or survive disadvantage, they need to adapt to behave or act in a way to fit in. This in itself creates not only pressure but a feeling of not been in alignment.
Our work starts with getting to the heart of a person’s core values, to find out what is important to them. When we help someone raise their self-awareness around that, there is often an epiphany moment. It explains everything – why they think or feel as they do, what drives them and importantly what makes them happy.
This is where the permission comes in, the permission to live in line with their core values and to honour these in everything they do. People we work with often talk about fearing having to be like other people to fit in and it’s the fear of having to be something they are not. We are all prepared to adapt ourselves, to compromise on our core values to fit in but when we get pulled far from our natural place, we become uncomfortable.
It’s ok not to sell your soul to fit in. There are ways to live authentically with who you are and your values and still get on in life. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it!
It’s ok to reposition yourself so that life fits around you. That’s where coaching comes in, helping a person to embrace and own that, and gaining the permission to be authentic.
“There is only one way of life and that’s your own.”- The Levellers.